Thursday, January 17, 2008


Esmee was possessed by the devil two days ago. Linda Blair in "The Exorcist" possessed. Marlena on "Days of Our Lives" in the 90's possessed.

So it was time for the annual check-up for both girls. No big deal. Ears, nose, throat...a flu shot. Some boosters. Right? Am I crazy? I thought this would be a piece of cake. These girls have been going to the doctor for years! And their pediatrician wears a little rubber Pooh Bear attached to his stethoscope and makes them guess what animal is living inside their ears. We'd be in and out, right?

No such luck. Here's the timeline.

2:30 We arrive at the office. All is great. We even get called in early by the nurse.
2:35 Blood pressure, pulse, height and weight. The girls are happy, smiling, finding their own pulses.
2:45 The doctor comes in, Kicky starts to ask questions about the flu shot. "I'm just getting one shot, right? Just the flu shot, right? It won't hurt much, right?" Anxiety starts to build. The doctor proceeds with the exam...checking tonsils, spines and asking questions about what kind of veggies they like. Kicky keeps asking questions about the flu shot. The doctor says she will, indeed get a flu shot. And a Hep A booster. AND a chicken pox booster. Terror sets in.
3:00 A respite: the eye and hearing exams. Then the nurse comes with Kicky's shots. Esmee's cool...watching Kicky freak out as she gets not one but three shots. But she is brave, strong, proud of her band-aided shoulders.
3:15 Esmee's turn.
3:20 Where is Esmee?
3:25 Curled up under the chair, clinging like a monkey to the chair legs. Screaming bloody murder.
3:30 The nurse and I extricate her from the bottom of the chair and try to get her situated on my lap.
3:35 Flailing, beet red and screaming, the demons have arrived.
3:40 The nurse prepares FIVE vaccinations and gets ready to administer the first one.
3:41 Esmee's head spins round and round and then she close-fisted clocks me in the face. Hard. Harder than I have ever been struck. Ever.
3:42 Stunned and bewildered and IN PAIN, the rest is a blur. Somehow the shots all get given, and the demon leaves my child's body.
3:45 We go out to the lobby, Esmee is clutching her Dora the Explorer sticker. I am clutching my nose. The receptionist, clutching her side, laughs, "The Four Year special?"


Nicole said...

Oh goodness, T, I was just about clutching my OWN nose while reading that. We'll be going in for the start-of-Kindergarten shots this summer. Needless to say, I can feel my own anxiety starting to build after reading your post. LOL

T. Greenwood said...

No kidding. Good luck. Nothing like being socked by your four year old.

How are you??? Your writing?

Kathryn said...

Poor T. Oh my gosh! But what a great post! Even your posts are little gems in themselves.