I woke up today with the worst pit in my stomach: an absolutely debilitating melancholy feeling. I think it mostly has to do with the sitter coming while I'm at school this afternoon. The idea of Kicky having to spend three more hours with her when things are so contentious makes me more than uneasy. Kicky had nightmares all night last night; I even crawled in with her for awhile because she kept crying out and talking in her sleep. So I cancelled class and told the sitter not to bother. And she had the nerve to e-mail back that I should have given her more notice, that she was counting on the money. Am I insane or does it seem like when you quit a job with one day's notice, the employer doesn't really owe you much of anything? Anyway, I'm feeling like a mama bear, and my claws are out.
I think that the weather is also messing with me. It's gray and cold and rainy. This morning there was a terrible accident on one of the freeways here; everything just seems so grim.
And our neighbor says that there's an adolescent bald eagle that is stalking his coi. He saw it this morning and took some photos. Something about a bald eagle circling around the top of New Hampshire Ave with its high rises and strip malls is really, really disturbing to me today.