Thursday, March 09, 2006


I don't know what's wrong with me, but I have had this prevailing sense of something since last night. I hardly slept, my heart was racing (though my mind was remarkably still). And the weird thing is, there is nothing tangible that I can use to explain it away. It's just this sick unease. I mean, I know what is making me feel stressed out, but it's more complicated than that. I feel on the verge of tears for no real reason. Last night, I went and looked at the girls while they slept, and I was so overwhelmed I had a hard time leaving their room. And it's not sadness. It's something larger. Like sadness and anticipation and joy and horror all mixed up together. I feel like some wires have gotten crossed in my brain. Not to worry. I'll snap out of it.

On a lighter note, I stayed up late watching the finale of Project Runway. I think Chloe's collection was incredible except for that godawful stick-of-hot-pink-cotton candy dress. What do I know? I haven't even bought a new dress in two years. I've got one pair of shoes I ever wear and all of my jeans are too big.

Maybe tomorrow I'll have some news. If it's good, I'll go buy myself some jeans that fit.

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